Please note: This photo is a representation of the townhome we lived in. The actual address has been changed to protect the innocent. Also, it was a rental and who would take a photo of the outside of their rental home? I am not a weirdo. HOLLA Zillow!
Reasons why we moved here
1. Proximity to downtown Portland. We were literally right over the hill from downtown and it would take 15 mins to drop into town.
2. Fenced backyard. We had 3 - yes 3 - dogs and we needed a place that would take them and had a fenced backyard. They totally destroyed the grass. Shocking.
3. Prestige. I am kind of a snob. I know, shocking. I play it down pretty hardcore, but when it comes to where I live I want to pretend that I don't care, but I do. This was a "premier" neighborhood that I like the address of. SUE ME. I got over it, clearly. I live in Beaverton for Christ's sake.
4. Shuttle bus. Included with the HOA was access to a shuttle bus to and from Sunset transit center. I never took public transportation, cause that is for poor people, but hubby did. hubby does not have the same hangups on public transportation I have.
5. 3 bedrooms. At the time, I was like "How can we possibly fill 3 full bedrooms?" It seemed like a crazy amount of space. Then we moved my stuff and hubby's stuff (from his 3 bedroom 2 bath house) into here and we never used the garage for cars again.
Reasons why it SUCKED
1. 3 levels. First, it was split level. So when you entered, you "got" to make the choice of whether to go up or down. The "foyer" was about the size of a generous closet. So that was super easy to navigate. I thought that living in a 3 level house would make me "exercise" more, going up and down the stairs so many times. If any of you all are looking for a house with stairs because you want to force yourself to go up and down more stairs, I will let you in on a little secret: It makes you MORE lazy. You find yourself making piles of shit all around to house with the intention of bringing it to its appropriate level "on the next trip." On the next trip is code for not going to move until company comes over.
2. Living/entertaining space did not have a bathroom. The fun part of the split level was that although we had 3 full bathrooms, none were on the level with the living/kitchen/dining rooms, where we spent the most time. This lead to the following thoughts: "I have to pee. But I am so comfy in front of the warm fireplace and it is cold downstairs and upstairs. I can hold it."
3. Tandem "2 car" garage. OK, so whomever calls this a 2 car garage probably owns two smart cars. It was probably about a 1.5 car tandem garage. Also, imagine if we had actually used it as intended. How often would hubby or myself have to go in and move our car so the other could get out. Nightmare. It became the storage unit for the crap that wouldn't fit in the house.
4. A little thing happened to the microwave. Sooo... I am constantly improving my culinary skills. It has become an interest for me in recent years. As part of that, I was making homemade potato salad for a friend's BBQ. Normally, I would have gone to the store and just bought some, but I thought I would try my hand at making it. One of the ingredients of potato salad is hard boiled eggs. I unsuccessfully tried multiple times to cook the eggs on the stove, but always ended up with a soft yolk. Then I had a truly inspired idea. I could put the eggs in some water into...you guessed it...the microwave. Fortunately, I was not in the kitchen when it EXPLODED everywhere. Unfortunately, the turntable never worked again and the thing made a sad grinding sound for the rest of it's sad, sad life. We had to replace it before we moved out. Moral of the story...I think you can guess.
5. Replacing the dishwasher. The dishwasher stopped working at some point when we lived there. We contacted the landlord and requested that it simply be replaced. Hubby would do the installation so she would not be as agitated she needed to spend the money. Her response "You can do that?" as if noone except a plumber can simply remove a dishwasher and replace it. It is about as complicated as attaching a hose to a sprinkler. Which leads to...
6. Crazy, rich and slightly flighty landlord. This was her house. It is a more accurate representation of the homes in the area. We essentially lived in what I am sure she would not deem good enough for her "help." I do not have a problem with folks that can afford this type of home, and I intend on being one someday. However, we paid our rent by automatic check every month. The one month she (most likely) dropped it or forgot it or whatever happened to it, she called up frantically and said we had not paid our rent and hoped we did not have "financial troubles." Um, excuse you. We have paid on time EVERY month for over a year. WTF?
7. We were forced to keep the shitty TV and audio in the townhouse. Part of the nonstandard portion of the lease agreement is that we do not modify or remove the TV and sound system in the townhouse. Now, this would be fine if it was a super high end AMAZING system. But, it was a TV that was 10 years old and matching sound system. Both hubby and I had better equipment. So...incredibly frustrating to watch TV on a downgraded TV by contract.
8. The front door would randomly open. So, as mentioned before, we had 3 dogs. One of them liked to "escape," which could happen from either me absently leaving the door open or her pushing her way around my legs to escape. Both ended with me running around the neighborhood trying to get her back into the house by bribing her with treats. One super cold, foggy morning I came down stairs in the morning and the front door was open. It was weird. The next thought i had was "Oh shit, where is the dog?" Sure enough, she had simply wandered out of the house. So, from that point on in order to keep the door closed, we had to lock it. I had varying success remembering this and hubby and I had multiple arguments about my inability to remember. But it seemed like bullshit, and still does.
Reality Check: These are all ridiculous #firstworldproblems. I recognize that I am an extremely lucky individual that got to live in a really nice area. See...I can be humble too.
Now that I have laid the foundation, let's delve into the topic at hand. Was this a real life Stepford wives situation? Well, yes and no. The homes were beautiful and well taken care of.
They were all what I call "new construction chic." Large house, small lot, emphasis on the garage in the front. The people stayed to themselves and I could not tell you any of my neighbors names. Most women walked or drove in their BMWs to the Starbucks in the small shopping center with makeup on. They all seemed to wear similar "these were expensive but I want you to think I am casual" clothing or workout apparel.
The people who I did interact with, however, were warm and lovely in general. Some were a little clueless to the charmed life they lived, but it is easy to take affluence for granted when you are used to it.
I always thought that when I "made it," this area would be where I would want to live. I can now say, definitively, no thank you. It does not fit me at all. It would be like me owning a Ferrari. I am sure I could figure out how to drive it, but I know other people would like it more and it is what they REALLY want. I am not sure where I want to land into infinity, but Beaverton works much better for me and my family right now.
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