The Starbucks app

I am in love. In love with a robot that allows me to order my coffee automatically every morning and I don't have to wait in line like a chump. I am of course talking about the Starbuck's app. If you have not been given the gift of the knowledge of how this works (or do not live in Portland, I have heard the beta is only for here), let me bestow you with the best gift I will ever give you.

So, I never believed I was a coffee person. Don't get me wrong, I like coffee, but I was not addicted. Then the app came. I can go in and order the same super long to describe drink everyday without talking with a single person. I like convenience, especially when it means that I do not have to interface with people before 8am.

I like my coffee iced, extra ice, half calf, skinny, venti. See how this can be an issue when ordering? Also, I get a little sense of anxiety when I have to actually rattle off all of the things I want. Also, I do not like my iced coffee until the ice has melted a little (about 10 mins of melt). Now I can order when I drop the kiddo off at daycare and it is the perfect level of melted when I get to my stop near Forest Heights on my way to work. Also, I have noticed that I eat less when I have a coffee in the morning, so maybe my ass will get smaller. Convenient and makes me skinny? Yes, please.

Go Merica!

As an American, I love Independence day. I like that is the birth of our country and despite all of our social, economic and political problems, I still would not live anywhere else. Unless I got a killer job and made boatloads of money...but I would still retire here most likely. Even then, pursuing the dolla is so American, so I would kind of be patriotic by leaving. You're welcome Merica.

Judging myself for judging

So...those of you who know me well know I can be a little judgey. This is one of my favorite memes on the interwebs:

While I think that wine consumption is both necessary and fun, I have recently come to the conclusion that judging people is possibly detrimental to both myself and those I am judging. Being an excellent judger, I have many types:

1. Parent Choices Judging. This topic is rife with sensitivity and always leads to the other person, if they become aware of your judgment, feeling like you think they are a bad parent. Before I had a child and saw a mom letting her kid get into things while struggling to pay for an item at the grocery store, I always judged. I thought when I had a kid, I would never let them get into the candy that is EXACTLY EYE LEVEL of your child, by design. But now that I have a toddler, I will let him touch the candies and may actually (gasp) buy him one if it gets me through the line faster. Sometimes, you need to give a little to get a toddler that is not having a melt down in the middle of a store. 

Now to the more touchy subject of watching my friends parent. I have judged. I know I have been judged. But, I promise to be more kind in my thoughts and respectful in the fact that you are doing what you need to based on the needs of your child, family and beliefs. It will make me a better person and friend, so I am really doing it for selfish reasons. As always, it's about me. 

2. Fashion Choices Judging. OMG...so many things to judge. I am literally salivating at the prospect of judging people for fashion. 

I googled "awful fashion choices" and these are some of the highlights. If I remove my knee jerk judging hat, you know what strikes me? They look happy. They like their choices. So why do I need to judge them just because that is not the choice I would make? 

3. Relationship Judging. I have had ups and downs in my relationship. We all have. This type of judging is "I would NEVER stand for that in MY relationship" or, conversely, "Why doesn't my spouse do that awesome thing that someone else's does?" When I compare my relationship to another, all I am really doing is either setting myself up for feeling better or worse. And in the case of feeling better, it is hollow because the person I am judging is a friend. So why do I do this? I NEED TO STOP. 

4. Stuff Judging. I love nice things. But, when I compare myself to anyone, I can always think of at least one of their "things" that I want. It could be a house, a location, a car, a tomato plant that is not going cray cray like mine. Seriously, it is taking over my garden. More on that in another blog. In the end, it makes me feel like shit. 

5. Treat Yo Self Judging. This is similar to stuff judging, but it is more like "why did that person spend all that money on THAT." Every once in a while, everyone should treat themselves with whatever blows their skirt up. Designer handbags your jam? Buy one. Into expensive whiskey? Get it. But these items are treats, not regular occurrences. 

6. Body Judging. This is a treasure trove of emotional self abuse and judgement. Sometimes I see someone and think "am I as fat as her?" Sometimes I see someone and say I wish I could wear that or SHE SHOULD NOT WEAR THAT (see #2). I judge myself and I judge others constantly about this. This is probably the hardest part of my no judge quest. This could be an entire blog, so I will end it here. 

Don't get me wrong, I do not intend to roll back my judging entirely. It is as big a part of my life as sarcasm and, as mentioned, wine. However, at least being self aware of this is a step in the right direction. One favor I ask of you, friends, is to simply remind me not to judge if you hear me going there. I think I will be a happier person if I don't go down that road as often. 

Forest Heights...Stepford Wives Reboot or Did I like it?

OK, so before I lived in Beaverton (see my pros and cons of that location here) I lived in an alternate universe called Forest Heights.

Please note: This photo is a representation of the townhome we lived in. The actual address has been changed to protect the innocent. Also, it was a rental and who would take a photo of the outside of their rental home? I am not a weirdo. HOLLA Zillow!

Reasons why we moved here

1. Proximity to downtown Portland. We were literally right over the hill from downtown and it would take 15 mins to drop into town.

2. Fenced backyard. We had 3 - yes 3 - dogs and we needed a place that would take them and had a fenced backyard. They totally destroyed the grass. Shocking.

3. Prestige. I am kind of a snob. I know, shocking. I play it down pretty hardcore, but when it comes to where I live I want to pretend that I don't care, but I do. This was a "premier" neighborhood that I like the address of. SUE ME. I got over it, clearly. I live in Beaverton for Christ's sake.

4. Shuttle bus. Included with the HOA was access to a shuttle bus to and from Sunset transit center. I never took public transportation, cause that is for poor people, but hubby did. hubby does not have the same hangups on public transportation I have.

5. 3 bedrooms. At the time, I was like "How can we possibly fill 3 full bedrooms?" It seemed like a crazy amount of space. Then we moved my stuff and hubby's stuff (from his 3 bedroom 2 bath house) into here and we never used the garage for cars again.


Reasons why it SUCKED

1. 3 levels. First, it was split level. So when you entered, you "got" to make the choice of whether to go up or down. The "foyer" was about the size of a generous closet. So that was super easy to navigate. I thought that living in a 3 level house would make me "exercise" more, going up and down the stairs so many times. If any of you all are looking for a house with stairs because you want to force yourself to go up and down more stairs, I will let you in on a little  secret: It makes you MORE lazy. You find yourself making piles of shit all around to house with the intention of bringing it to its appropriate level "on the next trip." On the next trip is code for not going to move until company comes over.

2. Living/entertaining space did not have a bathroom. The fun part of the split level was that although we had 3 full bathrooms, none were on the level with the living/kitchen/dining rooms, where we spent the most time. This lead to the following thoughts: "I have to pee. But I am so comfy in front of the warm fireplace and it is cold downstairs and upstairs. I can hold it."

3. Tandem "2 car" garage. OK, so whomever calls this a 2 car garage probably owns two smart cars. It was probably about a 1.5 car tandem garage.  Also, imagine if we had actually used it as intended. How often would hubby or myself have to go in and move our car so the other could get out. Nightmare. It became the storage unit for the crap that wouldn't fit in the house.

4. A little thing happened to the microwave. Sooo... I am constantly improving my culinary skills. It has become an interest for me in recent years. As part of that, I was making homemade potato salad for a friend's BBQ. Normally, I would have gone to the store and just bought some, but I thought I would try my hand at making it. One of the ingredients of potato salad is hard boiled eggs. I unsuccessfully tried multiple times to cook the eggs on the stove, but always ended up with a soft yolk. Then I had a truly inspired idea. I could put the eggs in some water into...you guessed it...the microwave. Fortunately, I was not in the kitchen when it EXPLODED everywhere. Unfortunately, the turntable never worked again and the thing made a sad grinding sound for the rest of it's sad, sad life. We had to replace it before we moved out. Moral of the story...I think you can guess.

5. Replacing the dishwasher. The dishwasher stopped working at some point when we lived there. We contacted the landlord and requested that it simply be replaced. Hubby would do the installation so she would not be as agitated she needed to spend the money. Her response "You can do that?" as if noone except a plumber can simply remove a dishwasher and replace it. It is about as complicated as attaching a hose to a sprinkler. Which leads to...


6. Crazy, rich and slightly flighty landlord. This was her house. It is a more accurate representation of the homes in the area. We essentially lived in what I am sure she would not deem good enough for her "help." I do not have a problem with folks that can afford this type of home, and I intend on being one someday. However, we paid our rent by automatic check every month. The one month she (most likely) dropped it or forgot it or whatever happened to it, she called up frantically and said we had not paid our rent and hoped we did not have "financial troubles." Um, excuse you. We have paid on time EVERY month for over a year. WTF?

7. We were forced to keep the shitty TV and audio in the townhouse. Part of the nonstandard portion of the lease agreement is that we do not modify or remove the TV and sound system in the townhouse. Now, this would be fine if it was a super high end AMAZING system. But, it was a TV that was 10 years old and matching sound system. Both hubby and I had better equipment. So...incredibly frustrating to watch TV on a downgraded TV by contract.

8. The front door would randomly open. So, as mentioned before, we had 3 dogs. One of them liked to "escape," which could happen from either me absently leaving the door open or her pushing her way around my legs to escape. Both ended with me running around the neighborhood trying to get her back into the house by bribing her with treats. One super cold, foggy morning I came down stairs in the morning and the front door was open. It was weird. The next thought i had was "Oh shit, where is the dog?" Sure enough, she had simply wandered out of the house. So, from that point on in order to keep the door closed, we had to lock it. I had varying success remembering this and hubby and I had multiple arguments about my inability to remember. But it seemed like bullshit, and still does.

Reality Check: These are all ridiculous #firstworldproblems. I recognize that I am an extremely lucky individual that got to live in a really nice area. See...I can be humble too.

Now that I have laid the foundation, let's delve into the topic at hand. Was this a real life Stepford wives situation? Well, yes and no. The homes were beautiful and well taken care of.

They were all what I call "new construction chic." Large house, small lot, emphasis on the garage in the front. The people stayed to themselves and I could not tell you any of my neighbors names. Most women walked or drove in their BMWs to the Starbucks in the small shopping center with makeup on. They all seemed to wear similar "these were expensive but I want you to think I am casual" clothing or workout apparel.

The people who I did interact with, however, were warm and lovely in general. Some were a little clueless to the charmed life they lived, but it is easy to take affluence for granted when you are used to it.

I always thought that when I "made it," this area would be where I would want to live. I can now say, definitively, no thank you. It does not fit me at all. It would be like me owning a Ferrari. I am sure I could figure out how to drive it, but I know other people would like it more and it is what they REALLY want. I am not sure where I want to land into infinity, but Beaverton works much better for me and my family right now.

Adventures of a Jam/Smoothie/Beaverton mom

So, I don't have another trip on my calendar, which is hardly surprising considering that when I took this job I knew that there may be very little notice (as in, you are flying out to 2 days, get a flight that doesn't suck)

Instead of chronicling my travel, I thought I could tell you what I do in the meantime. I know, snore. If you expecting another Jesus statue, so sorry. Once we have more of the house projects completed, I will get right on it.

So, last weekend I made raspberry jam. Do you know how easy it was to make this stuff? It is literally just pectin, sugar and raspberries. Why did I used to buy this stuff when I can make it with love in my very own kitchen? The only reason I can find is that the raspberries do splatter, so I looked like I had gotten in a knife fight. How did I possibly get raspberries on my upper arm? That is the price to pay for homemade fresh jam I suppose. It also helped my street cred, so I am not mad at it.

In addition to making more jam this weekend, I think I will attempt to put some of these smoothie packets together. I have seen many of these step by step, but I like this one because it has you freeze the yogurt and include it in the bag. Many of the others require you have fresh yogurt which usually ends up in the back of my fridge with at least 2 months of mold. Nothing better than cleaning rotten milk products out of something. It makes your house smell AMAZING.



I was able to get a flat of raspberries last weekend for $27 at Lolich's Family Farm and a half flat of blueberries, but I cannot remember how much. What was interesting was that the flat boxes were marked with "Gonzales Farms in Cornelius, OR." It kind of sucks, because either they were re-purposing some crates or my raspberries and blueberries came from an entirely different place.  I don't know why this bugged me, but I kind of want to be able to say that the berries I use come from the area I live in. I may go to one of the other MANY farm stores in the area to get more local fruit.

We are so lucky to live on the verge of farm land and have access to so many farm stores. I often have to remind myself why I am OK with living in Beaverton. Being a Portlander my entire life, having a Beaverton address is still tough. These are the reasons to live in Beaverton:

1. Good schools. Our elementary school is ranked a 9 on Great Schools. They are also building a brand new high school really close to us.
2. Affordable. I should say - affordable at the time I bought. The house is worth at least $50,00 more than I paid for it two years ago.
3. Murrayhill/Progress Ridge shopping centers. Nothing better than having lunch at a french bakery, getting your nails done and then seeing a movie at a theater with armchairs.
4. Convenience. Everything that I need on a regular basis is close to the house, including the daycare that I love.
5. Proximity to wine country. This is two fold: I like to get my drink on and when hubby gets a full time job in the wine industry, it will be an easy commute.
6. Safety. I have never felt scared for myself, family or property in Beaverton. When I lived in Portland, the chances were higher for criminal activity, especially when I lived downtown. The only exception was when I lived in Forest Heights (which was an alternate universe that is meant for another blog another day)

The reasons why Beaverton sucks:

1. No easy access to a highway. I have to travel at least 15 mins to get to the nearest freeway.
2. The restaurants suck. You can't swing a purse in Portland without hitting an AMAZING farm to table restaurant. There are only chains or OK local restaurants in my area.
3. Reinforcement of my inferiority complex. When I tell people I live in Beaverton, there is usually a mix of disgust and pity unless the person lives there too (see above good list, especially #5).

As you can see, the good list outweighs the bad list by a LONG shot. However, I still cringe when I have to say where I live. I am still working through the steps to Acceptance. I will let you know when I get there.

Marshfield, WI

Got back from the great state of Wisconsin.

Started my travels with a trip to a little place we do not have in Portland anymore, Chili's in the Chicago airport. The choice of Chili's was made in the following way: I'm hungry. What's close? The answer was Chili's.

I ordered a watermelon margarita and a bowl of the chicken tortilla soup. Normally, I would have ordered a sandwich or burger but the jerks put the calories for the food on the menu and I was guilted into the soup choice. Thankfully, the calories for the margarita were not listed and therefore it was calorie free...I am assuming. 

I landed in Central Wisconsin Airport in the late afternoon and made my way to the care rental desk. I flirted relentlessly and was assigned an upgraded Chevy Malibu. It was a nice ride for the next 40 minutes to get to Marshfield. 

I then checked in to the nicest hotel in Marshfield, the Holiday Inn of course. 

I then tried to drive around to find food. I was looking for something kind of healthy and passed a Subway. I placed that location in the back of my head, in case I needed it. Not that finding it would have been a problem considering there is only one main road in town. I then saw a McDonalds, Dairy Queen and then Hardees. Hardees is the equivalent of Carl's Jr. in Oregon, so I thought they may have some of the salads I like. Yeah, no. The entire menu consisted of what I can only describe as a FRIED ONLY menu. I am not even sure if they offered tomatoes and lettuce on the burgers. I promptly drove back to the Subway.

Now here is something only the traveling mom can understand...I got to watch HGTV on my hotel bed while eating my sandwich with BOTH HANDS. This is monumental for a couple of reasons:

1. I got to watch what I wanted. Not Mickey, not Super Why, but what I wanted to watch. ALL NIGHT.

2. A hotel bed gets cleaned for me, so i can make a mess and ask for it to be cleaned the next day. No laundry on my part involved.

3. Eating a sandwich with BOTH hands is like seeing a beautiful sunset. You don't know how much you miss it until you see it again. Hello old friend of eating without having to coax/bribe your child to also eat with the other hand. 

I promptly unpacked my suitcase and took a shower. After exiting the shower, I realized that I forgot not only my toothbrush, but also my brush. So I put on the same clothes I traveled in (ewww) and went to the front desk becuase they had a sign on the bathroom sink saying that they would be happy to give me a toothbrush, toothpaste and a comb upon request. I went to the front with my tangled, wet hair and they informed me they did not have combs. But they did have this:

OK, so that was half the battle. Now how am I going to remove the tangles from my hair? Glad you asked. The front desk lady told me there was a Pick 'n Save across the street where I could buy one. So I marched myself down the block and across the street. I got catcalled twice on my way over there (at 9 pm, lord only knows what would have happened earlier in the day). 

If you haven't had the joy of walking into a Pick 'n Save in central Wisconsin 45 minutes before they close, you haven't lived. All of the staff is super friendly and I had a very pleasant conversation with a gentleman about his garden while he restocked the chip aisle. My walking away clearly gave him the signal to continue talking and in order to be polite I stood there for another 5 minutes discussing his garden. 

I decided that I would need something to get me through the day. So, this happened....

I also decided to treat myself to a nice toothbrush instead of the crappy hotel version. Holla

We had a meeting all day with the client that went well and then decided to do some "sightseeing." Marshfield is acutally know for one thing in particular. The World's Largest Round Barn. Here I am basking in the glory...

And here is the historical information I know you want...

The World's Largest Round Barn is actually located at the fairground where there is also the home of the Marshfield Curling Club.

I also found this little jem that I believe was important to share. This statue is on the main thoroughfare of Marshfield and is pretty hard to miss. I knew I would need to have a picture of this and would need additional help because there was not easy pull off area to get it. A big shout out to my new boss for dropping me off, circling the block and picking me up in my need for this picture. 

Yes, that is a gynormous statue of Jesus standing on the world with "Christ Guide Us On Our Way." I am not sure if the flags are because of my trips timing close to July 4th or if they are there all the time, but I think they certainly add to the whole situation. One other thing to bring to your attention is that the North and South America are pointed toward the street because GO 'MERICA!

They have clearly gotten complaints about this and so they have to display this:

PRIVATE PARK

THIS ENCLOSED PROPERTY IS NOT OWNED OR MAINTAINED BY THE CITY OF MARSHFIELD, NOR DOES THE CITY ENDORSE THE RELIGIOUS EXPRESSION THERON.

God bless our American right to erecting ridiculous shrines and calling it free speech. 

My last little adventure involved a little place called Nutz Deep II. It was located across the street from the Holiday Inn and was recommended to me as a good place to eat. You cannot see it very well, but the windows are actually heavily tinted. Walking up to this place, you definitely expect to need a stack of one dollar bills. 

On the inside, however, it is just a bar with greasy food. LAME. WHAT A LET DOWN. The only thing remotely interesting about this place is that it is called Nutz Deep II, with no Nutz Deep 1 and a second location of Nutz Deep II. Maybe counting is not their forte...

Here are the tings I have learned about Marshfield,WI:

1.The people there are extremely warm and helpful.

2. Fried cheese curds are delicious.

3. Jesus is standing on the Ozone, which is probably causing global warming, if it actually existed

4. The city has obviously received complaints about #3.

5. I would not mind going back. (see #1)

On the road again...

As I sit here on the eve of my first leg of travel in my new position, I cannot help but marvel at the differences in my life since my first business trip. I was at my previous employer for almost 8 years and traveled around the world. I felt like I was constantly on the road and I was.

Back then, however, I did not have a toddler and a husband and a house. I did not have the roots that can keep you grounded in both a good and difficult way. I have made the choice, however, to get back on the road because I am antsy. I am not a desk, 9-5 kind of person. I need to spread my wings and fly (literally on the fly part, not so on the spread my wings).

Things that have changed since I traveled for work last:

1. TSA Precheck is a real thing that can actually help you. Back when I was traveling before there were so few airports it didn't make sense to get it. Now it is everywhere and I am excited to utilize it.

2. Mobile boarding docks. Yes, they had them before but I did not utilize them as often as a print out at work. The only thing I am concerned about is keeping my phone charged.

3. No longer status. Stick me in steerage with all of the "normal people." LAME.

4. This company does not allow me to expense lunch. REALLY?

Bon Voyage ya'll. Off to Central Wisconsin.